‘Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show’ Is Why Outgrowing Mothers Is OK

mike and jerrod gazing at each other in reality show

A tale as old as time: boys and their mothers. It has been the subject of several shows about serial killers, but in Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show, the mother kills his son repeatedly. And he loves it.

Something is alluring about how the show is made. It is very honest to the point where you think, “He did not just say that.” But yes, he did.

The first thought going through the mind in Episode 1 is why? Why would you do this to yourself, Jerrod?

But by the end, it becomes clear that Jerrod is stuck in a loop of bad behaviors. Some he’s aware are bad, but others he doesn’t want to see.

The honesty shown in the show is why it is easy to judge these real people’s lives; they don’t hide who they are. They bear it all out, the good and bad. And there is so much bad in there.

In eight short episodes, Jerrod takes the viewer into his life. As a famous comedian and actor, one would expect him to show the lavish life he leads, but that’s barely noticeable. He seeks to communicate what’s in his heart and doesn’t get distracted.

Jerrod has one problem. He loves punishing himself. That’s why he cheats on a man who loves him and keeps returning to his mother. And even those two can converge into one: his mother.

Cynthia and Jerrod in an awkard moment in Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show.
Cynthia and Jerrod are in an awkward moment. Image credit: Courtesy of HBO

It’s worth noting that Jerrod spent most of his adult life in the closet.

His gay age is 16, and some of what he does is understandable. He loves sex (which 16-year-old doesn’t?), and while there’s nothing wrong with it, that time passed him by a long time ago.

Mike: Jerrod’s Soulmate

Jerrod is in love, and one cannot help but be happy for him. He gets giddy every time he mentions Mike, and their recorded private moments have the honesty that dominates the show.

Mike is a man and a half.

Jerrod takes the man into a tailspin, and even when they stop, they return to it. Mike sees Jerrod’s bare parts and decides to accept them no matter how ugly they are.

He’s at the forefront of watching Jerrod torture himself with constant cheating and the relationship with his mother.

He helps where he can, accepting an open relationship, visiting the parents, and braving the disrespect shown to them.

Mike is what every man wants in a man, but Jerrod is still a boy psychologically.

Jerrod and Mike with Jerrod on his phone in Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show
Jerrod and Mike sit and eat. Image credit: Courtesy of HBO.

Jerrod: Mama’s Boy

The core of the issue in Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show is Jerrod and his mother. He has mentioned more times than once how bizarre their relationship is, but seeing it firsthand makes the stories pale in comparison.

On the one hand, it is understandable why his mother holds the worldview she does. She has been doing the same thing, being the same person, and leading the same life for over thirty years.

It doesn’t look like Cynthia will ever change. It is so hard, almost impossible, for her to change. If she does, there’s no telling how the rest of her life plays out because she must confront and discard everything she’s ever known.

Jerrod and his mother’s relationship is sweet if you ignore the blatant homophobia.

From a young age, Jerrod was tight with his mother, as shown in some home videos from childhood. That’s where he lost the plot.

Everything in Jerrod’s life is an imitation of her.

A case in point is his relationship with Mike. Despite it being a same-sex male relationship, it has severe opposite-sex dynamics. And not just any heterosexual dynamics. Specifically between his mother and father.

Jerrod and Cynthia praying in Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show
Jerrod and Cynthia pray in Reality Show. Image credit: Courtesy of HBO

In his mind, Jerrod is his father, and Mike is his mother. He treats Mike the way his mother was treated and views him as inferior. That’s why he can cheat and return to him, expecting Mike to take him back.

He saw that his entire life with his mother, and she never considered ending it. He doesn’t think Mike can end it, and one can hope Mike doesn’t because that would short-circuit Jerrod’s brain.

Jerrod craves torture, which is why he digs for the unkindness of his mother and feeds on it. If she were to accept him and his “sin,” Jerrod might grow tired of their relationship.

Growing up in a predominantly heterosexual world can mess someone up big time, and that’s what happened to Jerrod. He views the world through an outdated lens, so he can’t free himself from ridiculous beliefs.

Mike and Jerrod sitting on a couch in Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show
Mike and Jerrod sit on a couch in reality show. Image credit: Courtesy of HBO.

Family is forever, the lie that he tells himself to keep returning for more.

No, family is not forever. For one, people die. What then? Family is forever is a lie blood relatives tell each other to keep the trauma circle going. Family is people who choose and accept you, with no conditions. They might not, and sometimes are not, relatives.

Jerrod believes in Black love and The Black Family (not explored in Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show), ideas quite contradictory to his nature.

Holding some thoughts can confuse someone to the point they miss the obvious.

Jerrod’s life is not a shining example of these ideas. He just parrots them. Jerrod is a black gay man in a relationship with a white man.

Jerrod and Mike holding hands in bed in Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show
Jerrod and Mike hold hands in bed. Image credit: Courtesy of HBO

He does his best to chart his way as Jerrod Carmichael, probably the first out gay man in his family, but some ideas tie him down.

It is okay to accept that things change. Relationships with family members evolve. It’s okay to leave people behind.

It’s okay for him to do the bare minimum with Cynthia and not crave something evidentially forced. If he wasn’t rich and famous and paid for their medical insurance, would they afford him the same grace?

What Jerrod wants people to see with Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show is his dilemma. If he doesn’t capture it on camera, it drives him insane. I love my mother, but she hates who I am. Do you all see what I see?

It might be true that she might never accept him and his boyfriend. That’s okay.

It is also okay for Jerrod to limit their relationship. I mean, they unconsciously do it for weeks. What about an active approach?

Otherwise, he will keep returning for more heartbreak, and who knows when Mike will hit his threshold.

Rating: 9/10